overwhelmed... but hangin on

OK, so I'm gonna post...

ALLOT has been going on in my life. I have been pretty overwhelmed lately and that is why I havent been posting regularily. Seems like that is the theme of the year for me... "overwhelmed"Things just keep on snowballing for us- one thing after another. This past year I have faced more hurdles than I ever anticipated, moving to a new province and a small town where we knew NO ONE was a struggle in itself but then we faced the up and down of finding out I was pregnant and then miscarrying at the very end of my first tri-mester... struggled allot as a result both individually and together.

We built our first home... anyone who has been through the building process can attest that it is not 'easy' especially when its your very first home. Moving in in November was amazing- what a great feeling.

Christmas was awesome- got to spend it with BOTH of my families & my baby sister got engaged.

After the holidays Jo-Ben went away for his out of town stint which lasted over 3 months this year... experienced great loneliness during this time but was blessed and overjoyed to find out once again that I was pregnant... this time it took only 7 weeks for our second child to slip away from us. A very hard thing to go through a second time in one year especially with my hubby out of town.

When Jo-Ben came home from his out of town work he went straight to hitting the books to study for his intense level 2 NDT course, he took the course and the exams (including the govnt exam which has a 90% fail rate) in June- a very stressful time for him. ps: he found out this week that he passed all three parts on his first try which never happens and we are all VERY proud of him.

This summer has had its ups and downs as well, an up is we have started and almost finished the basement suite in our house and have renters that we love lined up for Sept. We have also done ALOT of work on the yard and are really enjoying it. My mom was able to come for a visit at the end of May which was also an 'up'... it was awesome to show her (and my aunt and uncle from BC who popped by for a day while she was here) around where we live, what we do and host them at our house. My Oma passed away at the beginning of July which was both an up and down... She has not been well physically and emotionally for many years and we are glad that she is in a better place but it was hard to say goodbye- felt like I was saying goodbye to a big part of my childhood. Jo-Bens parents were able to come and visit us all the way from North Carolina, they were both a HUGE help in helping us work on the basement suite. Sadly, five days after they arrived our Babaw (Jo-Ben's mom's mom) suffered a massive stroke which resulted in hemorrhaging in her brain. This was a very stressful time for all of us especially with Mom and Dad being so far from home and Babaw. Mom flew home late that night and 24 hours after she arrived home Babaw passed away. Dad stayed out here for the remainder of the time that they were supposed to stay to help as much as he could with the suite... Babaw is being buried today in Florida in a military cemetery next to her husband (he was a Sargent and she was a lieutenant) We are flying to NC tomorrow morning to be there with the entire fam and participate in the memorial service on Saturday. It is going to be a very sad and hard thing for all of us. I was just saying the other day to someone how its really interesting the relationships that we have with our grandparents. They are all so different and so when they pass away its a different experience for everyone. Babaw was not a huge part of the Barkeys lives when they were kids (they saw her on furlows and when she came out to visit about once a year in Peru) but they didn't grow up across the street from their grandparents like my sister and I did. But the interesting thing is the relationship that they all had with her as adults. We were all very close with her in our adult lives... I talked to Babaw on the phone at least once a week and I am certain that the rest of the siblings did as well. She was such an amazing force, a lively spirit and a dear friend to all of us. She prayed for us all daily and truly loved us all, even the married in granddaughters, with her whole heart. She will definitely leave a void in the Barkey family that will never be filled or forgotten.

So, up to this point that is what my year has looked like in a nut shell. Pretty rollercoasterish if you ask me. As I reflect on this past year I honestly don't think I would have changed a thing... The situations that I have incurred have pushed and pulled me in so many directions but have stretched me and have moulded my character, taught me and refined me and for that I'm thankfull.

I'm going to post some pics from my time in BC mostly at my sisters wedding below. Also, please keep the Barkey fam in your thoughts and prayers this weekend as we say goodbye to our Babaw, our amazing mother, grandmother and friend... as well as our travels and our very precious family time together.

Joshey walking the moms down the isle with his dad close behind

here I am walking down the isle


There I am upfront waiting for my baby sister

Rebecca and Dad making their grand enterance

So cute!

Mr and Mrs Josh and Rebecca Clark!

Here they are!!!

me saying my speech, I was so nervous!

mom saying her speech, she was quite emotional & dad kept jokingly trying to take the mic from her so i had to refrain him :)

Dad saying his part, I was trying not to cry- I always look so serious when Im trying not to cry. Dad was so cute- he said "we always wanted the best for our girls and I said it at Amanda's wedding and Ill say it again, today my daughter is getting the very best." awwwwwwww

the Thiessen girls with the newest edition

me and Hope- she sang you are my sunshine and it was probably one of the cuttest things I have ever seen, totally melted everyones hearts

me and my babe- end of the night so I was a bit shiney from dancing!

The next day we went to our good friends Jesse and Lori Bodner's wedding and it was at a beautiful golf course in Surrey, what a view!

his best 'blue steel' pose- what a hottie

Jesse and Lori Bodner!!! what a beautiful couple

me and the gorgeous bride

good friends :)

LIFE

So, Ive been away from the blogging world recently... I'm not really back- just wanted to write a short note to whoever (if there is anyone) who checks my page from time to time that I am still alive. This month has proved to be as busy as I thought it would be and then some... Ive got allot on my plate. My brother in law came and stayed with us for over a month, I went to BC for a "vacation" which wasn't a vacation at all with my Oma passing away, the funeral, planning for my sisters wedding and then the actual wedding, I was up to my ears in chaos out there... We are finishing out our basement suite and we have renters who are moving in there in one month and 10 days so one way or another its gotta get done. My in-laws came to visit us and arrived the day after we returned home from BC... 5 days after they arrived we got a call that my husbands grandmother... we call her Babaw (shes his only surviving grandparent, who we are all extremely close too) was found breathing but unresponsive that morning... my in laws frantically tried to control the situation from BC (Babaw is in North Carolina where my husbands family lives) Mom Barkey flew home late last night and Dad stayed here to help Jo-Ben with the basement as much as he is able... we are all worried sick over Babaw and are very sad as she has just been getting worse over the past day and a half. So yeah... that's my life. its pretty hectic at the moment and that's why I haven't found time to blog (I hardly have time to clean my house and take a breath so blogging isn't exactly up there on the priority list) Anyways, just wanted to let you fellow bloggers know that IM ALIVE, IM HERE!!! ... just busy. Hope all is well on your side of the computer screen :)

Oma

My Oma (my mom's mom) passed away suddenly this weekend. She has been living in a nursing home for many years now but her healthy quickly deteriorated this weekend and she passed this morning around 4am. I wrote some memories last night and would like to share them here.

There is much to remember and so much to be thankful for as we remember Oma and the way she shared her life with those around her. Each of us gives gifts of ourselves to those we share life with. These are gifts that no one can take away. Though we are gone, these gifts remain with those to whom we have given them. The memories that I have of my Oma and Opa are gifts that are irreplaceable and immeasurable to me. The memories that I hold near and dear to my heart are not those of extravagant things that my Oma and Opa did for me or gave me but those of the day to day things that turned out to mean so much.

Growing up across the street from my Oma and Opa for most of my life was such a blessing. I remember throughout my childhood that as soon as my sister and I heard the Ice Cream man’s song telling us he was on is way we booked it across the street where Oma was always waiting with her sour cream container full of change to buy us all a treat.
Oma and Opa babysat us allot when I was little and at the time still got milk from the milk man, when he came while we were over she would always make sure to get special chocolate milks that were just for us.
Because my parents got married and had babies so young they had to work very hard for everything, so my Mom wasn’t a stay at home mom. Fortunately, since we lived just across the street from Oma and Opa, they were always there to watch us and take care of us. Waking up on school days to Oma snoozing on our living room couch because mom had already left for work and Oma was there to get us ready for school was a regular occurrence. Opa would walk me to school and would always be faithfully waiting at the yellow gate for me when I was done to walk me home.
In the afternoons Oma and Opa would have their medeshlope, Opa sleeping on the couch and Oma on the love seat with the Low German church radio blearing. I remember spending afternoons watching The Andy Griffiths show, the wonder Years and, my Opa’s favorite, The Price is Right with them.
Oma always made us good Menno food and my favorite was her potato pancakes with as much sugar as we wanted.
When I was a teenager I would run over across the street when one of my favorite shows was on & Dad was hogging the TV- Oma would always let me watch whatever I wanted to.
We would often go to their house for dinners during the week & I remember my favorite was going over for Chinese food.
I remember lots of really good family gatherings at Oma and Opa's. One of my favorite things about Christmas family gathering there was that Oma really liked Bobart, a sweet bread and raisin stuffing, so I could count on it being on the table. I like it too so I really looked forward to that. The cousins and I would play in their basement, running and jumping trying to reach the tassels on the light fixtures, playing that board game with the pieces that you slide to get into the holes and watching movies. We would have family gatherings at their house in the summer time, under the carport with the uncles BBQing & drinking mate or tedede or else someone running over to get KFC and pop from the pop Shoppe. Many summer afternoons were spent playing in their yard & garden, eating fresh raspberries, apples, peas and carrots right out of the ground.
Whenever I had a fundraiser at school I could always count on Oma to buy something from me from chocolate covered almonds to wrapping paper.
Oma and Opa always supported me and I remember being, and still being, so touched when they came all the way down to the states for my baptism at a camp in Washington. Oma was so excited for me when I bought my first car… I crashed it the very day that I bought it and she never got to see it. I remember being so scared to tell her but when I did all she cared about was that I was ok.
I helped Oma and Opa with allot of things like going over to put Oma's pictures into photo albums, mowing their lawn or in later years taking Oma to Dr.s appointments or giving her pedicures.
I remember Oma always taking pictures while we were eating which I always thought was so weird but I now understand that that is when we were together as a family and I think those are the times that she wanted to remember.
I also remember her constantly sitting at her spot at the table, perched by the front window, watching the neighborhood and everything going by. She was the best neighborhood watch that we coudl have asked for!
Oma was pretty crafty and I remember watching her make slippers quite often. One time I decided that I wanted to learn how to knit and who better to teach me than my Oma, so we got the necessary things together and the lesson began… I guess I wasn’t a very good student because I still don’t know how to knit and I don’t actually remember completing a single stitch but in the end I wound up with a 10ft long scarf made by my Oma.
I always thought it was so cool that both of my sets of grandparents knew each other and often visited together. I am fortunate to still have my Grandma and Grandpa around and have felt, and still feel, lucky that my Grandpa can tell me stories about my Oma and Opa. I feel so blessed that I was able to form relationships with all of my grandparents and the selfless love that they showed to me, the gift of herself that my Oma gave to me, is one that will remain in my heart forever. I will always remember my Oma, from her loving spirit and the way that she hugged and kissed me to the many, many things she did for me, helping in raising me up to be the woman I am today.
I trust that Oma peacefully passed into the Lord’s presence and I know that she is happy and safe now, in heaven, with Jesus and my Opa. She is in a place where there is no suffering and she is surrounded only by love. Come to think of it, all three of them are probably sitting under some carport, sipping on yerba mate or tedede and watching the people go by... & watching over me.

update

I guess I havent really been in the mood to blog lately, maybe there hasnt really been anything going on... work is stedy today so this will be short. I had a really relaxing weekend, sans hair and make-up, sleeping in till at least noon... watching movies and eating good food. Lots of work being done to the house, the mudders and tappers are in the basement finishing out the ceilings and walls, we may paint next week or just save it till the in laws get here... myabe i should save it for the sister in law, muwahahahaha. just kidding. The concrete gyus are working on our patio today :) cant WAIT for patio parties. 19 more days till my baby sisters wedding-hard to believe the countdown is in the teens... yikes. i started welling up the other day talking about it with joben... the actual day is going to be a gong show of emotions im sure. been having some decent grilled meals lately but havent taken pics... cant WAIT to post my first ever daring bakers blog post on my food blog but I must wait till im allowed... Summer is truley here and its going to be jam packed full of crazy fun times & I'm reallllly looking forward to it... here's what to look forward to:

1. FAMILY & VACATION TIME
-going to bc for sister wedding in a week and a half... so much goodness there
-mom and dad b comming to stay with us from NC & graciously helping us finish out the basement for a couple of weeks- cant wait!!!
-sister in law hannah comming for two weeks (over lapping mom and dads stay for part of the time) to goof around. :)
- going to the family cabins in Princeton at the end of August for Gramps' birthday calabration... if Jo-Ben can manage to come with we will celebrate our 3rd anniversary then too!

2. Finishing out the yard in the commming weeks- we wont have a fence this year (lack of funds) but we will have a stellar patio and GRASS!!!

3. James (our friend from BC) moving in with us to come and work with Jo-Ben & some friends renting the basement suite when its done and moving in... the Barkey commune? oh yeah!! (we should have our own reality show)

Just a few things that im looking forard to- lots of awesome people in my life and good times to be shared with them.

Also, my super awesome hubby was in a really intense nuclear physics radiology course in Calgary for a few weeks which he not only passed but got a VERY good grade in... now all he has to do is pass the extremely hard gvmnt exam- yipes! Im sure he will do amazing... hes pretty darn smart if i do say so myself!!!

Have a great day y'all!! (getting ready for the in-laws)

Just stuff :)

Not a whole lot new happening in my neck of the woods... Jo-Ben is still in Calgary learning nuclear physics... packing his brain full of new stuff at a rapid rate :( poor guy. I am working like a busy worker bee... going to see his soccer game in Red Deer tonight. My sisters wedding is in one month EXACTLY from today... I am SO extremely excited I can hardly contain myself. :) Things are falling into place and I think that it is going to be an incredibly beautiful celebration... cant waitttttt! Top three things I cant wait for: 1) looking pretty 2) seeing so many family and friends and partyin it up 3) the candy bar!!! hehehe Going to an engagement party this weekend in Calgary and am SO excited- should be a blast. Ive posted a link below to an article I saw today about unique homes... I would want to live in the beach house in Germany I think. Have a good day!!!http://realestate.sympatico.msn.ca/PhotoGalleries/Unique+homes+around+the+world.htm?feedname=PHOTO_GALLERY_REALESTATE_UniqueHomes&pos=0&nolookup=true

Stumbled upon this website today... an amazing photographer recreating childrens drawings into photographs- very cool . Enjoy!

http://www.yeondoojung.com/artworks_view_wonderland.php?no=88

weekend

-little bro in law showed up at my work on Friday at noon, elbow effected by tendinitis so is out of commission as far as tree planting goes therefore here for a visit
-hang out with little bro in law Friday night (finally come out of state of procrastination and clean house, surprise company=motivation)
-intense sleep in saturday (was very sick with the flu all last week and didn't miss a day of work so slumber much needed & appreciated)
-hang out with little bro in law, watch some TV, play with dog, prep for bbq
-joben returns home after being gone for 10 days in Calgary for his level 2 NDT course, home for less than 24 hours for a short but sweet visit
-bbq Saturday night, menu: grilled rosemary & balsamic glazed chicken pieces, roasted red pepper roasted potatoes, Mediterranean cous cous salad & apple crisp with vanilla ice cream for desert. Good food & good friends.
-watched amazing movie: 'catch a fire' A drama about terrorism in Apartheid-era South Africa, revolving around a policeman and a young man who carries out solo attacks against the regime. Very powerful story
-brunch with husband and little bro in law Sunday morn, fresh sour cream scones, crepes with blueberry sauce, sausage, coffee, awesomeness
-help husband study his butt off
-spend afternoon reading :)
-head out to Red Deer for a chilly viewing of husbands soccer game where he scored a very nice goal, yay!
- say goodbye to husband and head back with the soccer boys to Three Hills